Friday, December 14, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – The Crepe Escape

(Originally posted on LAist on December 14)

The Berries and Cream crepe from La Galette Creperie in San ClementeAfter a five-week hiatus, LAist is back to taking you on its weekly trip down to Orange County to uncover the unique dining experiences that await adventurous eaters willing to explore beyond the county line.

I’ve always had a certain fascination with crepes. Not sure exactly why, perhaps it’s the simple elegance that a crepe has, its delicate buckwheat consistency and taste that can be deliciously served with virtually any kind of filling, whether sweet or savory. All I know is that when I pass a crepe stand or shop, I almost immediately get suckered into buying one, kinda like that dreaded hot dog and onion stand outside of ball games.

La Galette Creperie in San Clemente not only serves delectable crepes, but gives you the added bonus of being a wonderful little sidewalk cafe (which if you’ve read my other reviews, you know I’m a big fan of). It’s situated immediately adjacent to San Clemente Pier, so you can sit out in front and sip your coffee while watching surfers come in from their morning runs and people walking their dogs. It also has about ten tables of inside seating.

Another yummy crepe that looks way better in personThe restaurant is essentially a breakfast/lunch spot. The menu primarily consists of crepes, divided between sweet and savory, although different types of egg scrambles are also offered. However, unlike a crepe stand, La Galette Creperie uses fresh, gourmet ingredients to create tantalizing combinations. For example, on the savory side, fillings include ham, swiss cheese, and béchamel sauce (Croque Monsieur); smoked salmon with crème fraiche and red onion (Sunday Brunch); and chicken with apples, gorgonzola cheese, and hazelnut dressing (Chicken Fuji). The sweet side of the menu has favorites like Nutella and Dulce de Leche, but also inventive treats like the Campfire (chocolate, marshmallow cream, and crumbled graham crackers) and Strawberry Shortcake (homemade shortcake, strawberries, and vanilla sauce).

When I made my trip, I was a little overwhelmed with all of the options. I settled on the Chicken Apple Sausage Scramble crepe, which was filled with the sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, rosemary potatoes, sautéed onions, and Monterey Jack cheese, and topped with a white sauce. The filling was pretty generous so that it felt like I was getting a scramble that just happened to be surrounded by a crepe, as opposed to being predominately crepe without much on the inside. The eggs were light and fluffy, while the sausage added plenty of flavor but not a lot of density. On the flip side, the sauce added an appropriate level of richness with the cheese, giving the dish a nice balance: robust and filling, but not too heavy.

In fact, it was light enough that I couldn’t resist ordering up a second crepe, this time a dessert crepe to cleanse the palate. My server had already brought out the check, but I figured I had nowhere to be and more room in my stomach to eat. And I wasn’t disappointed. I opted for the Berries and Cream crepe, a slightly less sweet option so I could justify to myself that I ate fruit with the meal. It was a relatively simple crepe, full of fresh strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries alongside a healthy portion of whipped cream. It was an amazing example of how good food can be when you just let the natural flavors speak for themselves, rather than needlessly complicating a dish by introducing more complex ingredients. The sweetness and slight tartness of the berries, mixed with the cream and the texture of the crepe was spot on.

The food alone makes La Galette Creperie worth a visit, but it’s the idyllic setting that makes it truly memorable. San Clemente is known for being roughly equidistant between Los Angeles and San Diego, which means it’s way out of the way for most people. But it’s also known as one of the last true beach communities in Southern California, personified by laid-back lifestyles and the absence of significant commercial development. Each of the beaches is semi-secluded, allowing for small shops and fewer visitors. As such, soaking in the sea breeze while chowing down on some great crepes truly gives one a feeling of escape. If only life could always be this simple.

La Galette Creperie
612 Ave. Victoria, Suite E
San Clemente, CA 92672


Photos from La Galette Creperie's website, since my camera crapped out on me

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Breaking News: Baseball is Full of Effing Cheaters

(Originally posted on LAist on December 13)

Roger Clemens = cheater Eric Gagne = cheater Andy Pettitte = cheater


Former Senate Majority Leader (and current Boston Red Sox director) George Mitchell just announced the results of his 20-month, $20 million investigation into allegations of widespread steroid usage in baseball. The long-awaited, 409-page Mitchell Report (document here) identifies more than 80 current and former players as being linked to using performance-enhancing drugs. While the report casts blame on the lack of institutional control within baseball as much as the players themselves that cheated, what everyone cares about are the names.

Let the public humiliation ensue.

The list includes several current and former stars, such as all-time great Roger Clemens (no surprise, given his career arc), Andy Pettitte, and former beloved Dodger Eric “Game Over” Gagne. Others retired stars include the less-beloved former Dodger Kevin Brown (six-time all star), ex-Angel Mo Vaughn (1995 MVP), and David Justice.

Some have been previously implicated, like 2002 MVP Miguel Tejada, and of course, the giant forehead man who was the catalyst for the investigation after his alleged steroid usage was detailed in the controversial book Game of Shadows, all-time home run champ* Barry* Bonds*.

Several current and former Dodgers and Angels are mentioned. The full list is as follows:

Dodgers (years with the team in parenthesis): Eric Gagne (1999-2006), Paul LoDuca (1998-2004), Kevin Brown (1999-2003), Todd Hundley (1999-2000, 2003), Jeff Williams (1999-2002), Matt Herges (1999-2001), Chris Donnels (2000-2001), Phil Hiatt (2001), Ismael Valdez (1994-1999, 2000), F.P. Santangelo (2000), Adam Riggs (1997), Todd Williams (1995)

Angels: Gary Matthews, Jr. (2007-current), Brendan Donnelly (2002-2006), Paul Byrd (2005), Jason Christiansen (2005), Troy Glaus (1998-2004), Adam Riggs (2003-2004), Jose Guillen (2004), Scott Schoeneweis (1999-2003), Bart Miadich (2001, 2003), Mo Vaughn (1999-2001), Ismael Valdez (2001), Glenallen Hill (2001), Kent Mercker (2000), Jason Grimsley (1996)

Commissioner Bud Selig will address the report at a press conference beginning at 1:30 pm PT when he will be undoubtedly besieged by questions over potential punishments for the implicated players and the validity of any of the statistics accumulated during this “Steroid Era.”

What will be interesting to see is the reaction from fans, which widely acknowledge the prevalence of usage of these illegal substances during the past fifteen years, but continue to pay big money to watch their heroes hit 500 foot bombs and throw 100 MPH fastballs. Because while baseball as a sport places so much prestige on records and statistics that are permanently altered because of the scandal, its primary function is to provide entertainment. As such, the administrators of baseball, led by Selig, which ignored the problem to generate better business are just as worthy of scorn as these players that will forever be branded as cheaters.

Photos from AP

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ain’t No Party Like an OC Party

(Originally posted on LAist on December 12)

I'm guessing $250K in OC will get you a nicer party than this oneDuring the go-go, greed is good ‘80s, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous and host Robin Leach became the symbol of American opulence. It was hard not to aspire for 'champagne wishes and caviar dreams.' Of course these days, there are countless shows featuring the upper crust flaunting their wealth. And like a car wreck, we wretch at the sight of such blatant materialism while secretly keeping our eyes glued to the TV set.

So given our fascination with the uber-rich and our voyeuristic tendencies, it’s no surprise that Lifetime is now jumping on the bandwagon and launching another reality show celebrating such extravagance. Top This Party: Orange County, premiering on January 4, follows in the footsteps of Laguna Beach and Newport Harbor recognizing our fine neighbors to the south (or at least that upper 1%). Part Desperate Housewives of Orange County, part My Super Sweet 16, it will follow party planner Brian Dobbin around as he puts together over-the-top fiestas for local residents ranging in cost from $100,000-$250,000.

According to the hostess featured in the pilot episode, “the show's premise essentially boils down to showing "how we're just so rich we can spend huge amounts of money.”

Um, right.

No word on whether residents in Santa Ana, Garden Grove, or any other place in OC not named Newport Beach will be featured on the show.

And yes, I will be watching Lifetime on January 4.

Flickr photo by sml!

Friday, November 9, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – A “Mil” from the Heart

(Originally posted on LAist on November 9)

Venezuelan arepas from Mil Jugos

Here in LA, we are blessed with embarrassing riches when it comes to Latin American food. Just about every country is represented by at least a couple of places that truly embody the cuisine and spirit of the local culture. Venezuela is no different. While authentic Venezuelan restaurants are sparse in the Southland, they do exist. Coupa Café in Beverly Hills offers the upscale option, with fresh-brewed coffee, high-end food items, and some traditional dishes. But down in Santa Ana, Mil Jugos brings Venezuelan cuisine to the everyman.

Mil Jugos is a tiny shop in downtown Santa Ana, neighboring the Civic Center and Artists Village. Owned and operated by a Venezuelan mother-daughter tandem, the café contains only five tables but packs the soul of a nation within its walls. With brightly colored walls, scores of pictures of friends and family, and little wall ornaments depicting various incarnations of homes, Mil Jugos feels like one is taking a glimpse into the lives of its proprietors.

While Mil Jugos serves conventional sandwiches and salads, the real attraction are the two Venezuelan specialties on the menu: cachapas and arepas. Cachapas are sweet corn pancakes topped with various items typically served at breakfast or as appetizers. The café presents toppings like queso blanco, pork, seasoned beef, and ham. Because it was later in the day when I made my trip, I opted for the arepas. Arepas are more like a Venezuelan sandwich, with grilled corn bread surrounding hearty fillings. Mil Jugos provides numerous combinations of hot seasoned meats and cheeses to satisfy the palate. Slightly smaller than an In-N-Out hamburger, the arepas aren’t going to be tummystuffers individually. Which simply means you can make your own variety pack to sample different fillings. I went light and only got two: the pabellon and the pollo.

The first thing you’ll notice after you order at the counter is that it takes them a long time to make the arepas. Those of us used to our fast-food lives might be annoyed, but to me it just meant that I was getting something freshly prepared. Indeed, when my arepas were brought out to me, they were steaming. My first bite gave me the warmth and density of the masa-based bread, and the savoriness of the pollo. Yum! The pollo arepa was a combination of shredded chicken, cooked with garlic, tomatoes, and onions. All of the seasoning livened up the filling, though it was not spicy – I added some of the cool green chili sauce to give it extra bite. The pabellon was a mixture of carne desmechada (shredded beef cooked with similar ingredients as the pollo), black beans, and white cheese. This filling offered more of a flavor contrast between the slightly sour cheese and the meat and beans. Both were tasty, though I think my preference was for the pollo.

As anyone who who has studied elementary Spanish knows, mil jugos means a thousand juices. Accordingly, the restaurant also offers a lengthy list of nearly 25 fresh juices. Familiar fruits that are not necessarily typically consumed as juices include banana, pear, peach, and strawberry. Also available are numerous native selections such as guanabana, chicha, and tamarindo. To accompany my arepas, I had a large cup of tizana, a common Venezuelan drink, which was comprised of passion fruit juice mixed with several scoops of chopped green apples, cantaloupe, grapes, and pineapple.

Mil Jugos primarily serves the workday lunch set, closing on Sundays, and only opening from 10 to 5 during the week (opening at 10:30 on Saturdays). With arepas ranging from $3-$4 and cachapas priced at $5-$6, you’ll need to spend a little bit more to get a full meal than at a typical American café. But the meal you’re getting will be anything but typical.

Mil Jugos
318 W. 5th St.
Santa Ana, CA 92701

Friday, November 2, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – Darling I Love You But Give Me Park Ave.

(Originally posted on LAist on November 2)

Park Ave., where the deer and the antelope are served on my plate

Saying the name ‘Park Avenue’ evokes images of wealth, of tony living, of elegance and class (or of crappy Buicks if you’re into cars). Kinda like Rodeo Drive. It’s the antithesis of the working class, the regular everyday lifestyle that most of us experience. Which makes this week’s restaurant strangely appropriate, since Park Ave. in Stanton delivers a regal dining experience for a working class crowd.

My dad likes to joke about the perception that Laguna Beach or Newport Harbor is somehow representative of “the real Orange County,” and that someone looking to experience real “real Orange County” should go visit Stanton. Like most communities in north Orange County, Stanton is firmly middle class, with a diverse population and a significantly lower amount of plastic and silicon per capita than certain other “real” neighborhoods. Thus, it is surprising to find a place like Park Ave. within the Stanton city limits since the whole theme of the restaurant harkens back to upper-class 1950s living, a stark contrast to the nudie bar located a block away.

Picture this: a dimly lit dining room, with a mahogany wood base design and retro fabric adorning the seats and curtains; an elegant bar with old Rat Pack standards playing in the background; an all-black clad wait staff offering up seasonal selections from the menu; a googie-style logo displayed in the neon roadsign all the way down to the embossing in the faux-gator leather billholder. From what I could see, every last detail was covered to convey the theme.

That is, except for the food. Although the restaurant motif is pure 1950s, the food has a decidedly 21st century feel to it. Park Ave. and executive chef David Slay offer a variety of steaks, chops, and seafood with a modern twist (think of the Elks Lodge challenge from Top Chef 3). My dining companions and I interrogated our server, trying to cover as much ground as possible, but she was a good sport, leading us to some of her favorites on the menu. Undoubtedly, in the back of her mind she thought we were a little eccentric, a la the Finer Things Club in last night’s The Office episode.

Not sure which I liked more, the soup or the mug

We started our meal by sampling both the spinach salad and the creamy tomato soup. The spinach salad, tossed tableside, mixed in bacon and cheese and a warm apple cider-based vinaigrette, which provided both the sweet and sour to the dish. Although the warmth of the dressing wasn’t universally approved of, I liked how it gave my belly a little heat prior to the main course while still maintaining the lightness that a salad is intended to bring. The soup, served in a fun Park Ave. mug, was a slightly chunky mix of tomatoes, cream, cheese, and minced onions. The temperature was perfect, hot enough to taste all of the commingling flavors but cool enough that it didn’t burn the tongue. It was great on its own, but it could have easily made an excellent sauce for a lobster ravioli dish as well.

For my main dish, I ordered the antelope medallions. I will almost always order a game dish if I see it on a menu, as I love the sharper taste of the meat. The antelope was served with wild rice and spaghetti squash. I found my meat to be tasty but slightly overcooked (I asked for medium rare, but it came out closer to medium than rare) which, when coupled with the toughness of the meat, made it more firm than desired. However, the port wine sauce that accompanied the antelope was terrific, bringing a slight sweetness that accentuated the flavor of the meat. The rice and squash made nice accompaniments that helped complement the antelope from both a flavor profile and a textural contrast standpoint, not to mention adding color to the plate.

My food buddies ordered the filet mignon medallions and the stuffed chicken. The filet was a great cut of meat, super tender and flavorful. The meat was topped with a shiitake mushroom sauce that I thought overpowered the flavor of the meat slightly, and served with roasted potatoes. If I were to concoct the perfect dish, I would have mixed the port wine sauce with the filet mignon steak. That would have been spectacular. Meanwhile, the stuffed chicken was a boneless chicken filled with spinach and whipped potatoes. The dish was extremely hearty (my friend didn’t even finish half of it), but the flavors of each of the components remained intact. The chicken stayed moist despite the ingredients stuffed inside, allowing the natural juices to come out with each bite.

Berry crumble goodness

Park Ave. also has a healthy dessert menu, featuring homemade ice cream and sundaes. We opted to split a warm berry crumble and substituted out the usual vanilla ice cream for peanut butter ice cream. The combination of the berry sauce and peanut butter ice cream definitely made the dessert taste like peanut butter and jelly (and if you don’t like PB&J, you need to get yourself checked out). I particularly liked the inclusion of cranberries, in addition to the blueberries and raspberries that I’m accustomed to seeing in a mixed berry dessert, with their acidic taste providing some tartness against the rest of the sweet items. The crumble was a chewy, sugary topping that added much needed thickness. Other favorites from our server included the molten chocolate cake and the bread pudding.

Ordinarily, I’m accustomed to paying a hefty tab for a solid three-course meal such as this one, particularly given the solid service and general ambience. But we were able to get out for under $35/head, tax and tip included. The reasonable prices make Park Ave. a very accessible gourmet dining experience; in short, an upper-class meal at middle-class prices.

Park Ave.
11200 Beach Blvd.
Stanton, CA 90680


All photos by Amy Yang, as well as the reminder of the Green Acres theme song for the title of this post

Monday, October 29, 2007

My Obituary for UCLA Football

(Originally posted on LAist on October 29)

Bruin football, what went wrong?Strangely, I’m OK with it.

I mean, I’m NOT OK with it. I’m full of fury, anguish, and despair. But more than that, I feel resignation. I’m tired. And I’ve come to terms with all of it.

UCLA football is dead to me.

It’s not that I’m disowning the program. I’m still gonna support the team; my blood will always run Bruin blue. It’s just that I’m no longer going to pour myself into the team like I have been these past few years. I’m moving on with my life. I can finally accept that the program - under the leadership of Karl Dorrell - has been buried. I have emerged from the five stages of grief, and now I’m at peace.

This isn’t the first time my relationship with UCLA football has died. During the last couple of games of the Bob Toledo era, I made a similar vow. Fortunately, the administration was on the same page and got rid of him soon after. Unfortunately, it replaced him with Dorrell.

I forced myself to start fresh, let our relationship be reborn, even though I was skeptical about whether the program was alive once again. Over the course of Dorrell’s five-year tenure, I’ve seen all the telltale signs that suggested this death was imminent; I just chose to hold on to some slivers of hope that the team provided every so often by winning a game it wasn’t supposed to. Even as I’ve been calling for his dismissal for the last several weeks, I still went out and gave my all as a fan.

But now, I, like many of my counterparts in Bruin Nation, can acknowledge with absolute certainty that our spirit has been permanently crushed (well, at least until a new coach revives it); that whatever life, momentum, hope, optimism, and promise that survived the losses to Utah and Notre Dame, and was revived by the win over Cal, was extinguished by this humiliating loss to Washington St.

At this point, I’ve got nothing more to say. I’ve vented as much as I possibly can about the frustrations over the team’s lack of toughness (see 11/9/06 after Cal), lack of effort (see 9/17/07 after Utah), and lack of preparation (see 10/8/07 after Notre Dame). Others Bruin faithful are carrying the torch, like the boys at DumpDorrell.com who are fundraising to raise up a billboard to publicly petition to AD Dan Guerrero for Dorrell’s dismissal, or the always vocal Bruins Nation, or the loyal cranks on Bruin Report Online. Even SI’s Stewart Mandel is calling UCLA the worst coached team in America. But I’ve got no more fuel to add to the fire. Any more negativity out of my mouth is just going to affect my health and make me say something I’ll regret.

Now it’s not a given that Dorrell is going to be let go; he still has four games, three against top-15 level teams, to continue the deception that the program is headed in the right direction by pulling off some more miraculous upset wins. Honestly, if Guerrero isn’t convinced that Dorrell is in over his head, I’m not sure what else needs to happen, short of a winless season. Anyone with a pair of functioning eyes can see that. And if you do truly believe Dorrell’s the answer, let me introduce to my good friend the Tooth Fairy.

So with these remaining four games, or possibly even more if the Bruins cowboy up and make a bowl and/or manage to salvage Dorrell’s job, I’m looking forward to being just a casual fan. I won’t have to pull my hair out over a punchless West Coast offense unable to complete even simple pass plays. I won’t have to gnash my teeth seeing another spread offense cut apart the “vaunted” Bruin defense. Best of all, I’ll be able to tune out all of the lame clichéd excuses of problems with execution, focus, intensity, and injury. I’ll get to use Saturday nights to relax with a glass of wine instead of stewing with my bottle(s) of hard liquor. Already I feel my blood pressure lowering. As much as I’ll miss UCLA football, I know I’m so much better off without it right now. And I’m sure I’ll be more refreshed when the program is rejuvenated with a new coaching staff.

Whatever does happen, I hope that things are handled with class. ‘Cause even though Karl may be dead to me now, he’s still a Bruin that exudes integrity, and all Bruins deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Even if they can’t coach their way out of a paper bag.

It’s been one hell of a ride. But this is where I get off.

AP Photo by Dean Hare

Friday, October 26, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – Grubbing Before the Rooster Crows

(Originally posted on LAist on October 26)

French Dip a la Rooster Cafe

This month, LAist has brought you daily coverage of some of LA’s finest late night dining spots from all over the Southland. So we’d be remiss if we didn’t throw in at least one spot from OC.

Some of you readers that have probably never set foot down in the giant suburbia known as Orange County might be surprised to learn that there is actually a bar scene and late night crowd. True, you have to look a little harder to find it, but it does exist. I swear.

One of these little hamlets of nightlife activity exists in Costa Mesa. While it appears to the naked eye that Baker St. seems abandoned after about 9 pm, there are actually a number of bars and clubs within a half-mile radius of the 73 Freeway, primarily located off the main drag in strip malls and industrial centers. Though hidden, these nightspots range from divey bars to chic lounges. And Rooster Café is the restaurant that services all of these hipsters after they’ve had their fill of carousing.

Rooster Café was actually opened by the owner of Kitsch Bar (off Baker/Bear) several months ago, replacing a popular neighborhood ramen shop. It’s primarily a brunch spot, opened daily from 7 am to 3 pm, but it is perfectly tailored to meet the needs of the late night crowd as well, re-opening its doors from 10 pm to 3 am on Friday and Saturday nights. It brings in a rowdy crowd from the Tin Lizzie Saloon, a gay bar next door, as well as pedestrians from the other neighborhood joints that are too sloshed to drive home. Offering counter service and holding about ten tables, the cafe attracts plenty of loiterers content to chat with some of their new best friends. The café has a minimalist décor, with red walls and furniture that looks more IKEA than Pottery Barn. Alternative music blasts from the speakers and the help is mostly tatted up or wearing some hipster threads.

The menu at Rooster café is simple, designed for fast and easy preparation of orders at the grill in the kitchen. The breakfast portion of the menu features various egg scrambles, French toast, and breakfast burritos, all for four to five dollars, as well as bowls of cereal (how yummy is a bowl of Cap’n Crunch after you’ve been drinking for five hours?). The lunch menu offers up different cold (BLT, tuna) and warm (meatball, grilled veggie) sandwiches ranging from five to seven dollars. And for those patrons that haven’t gotten their fill of liquor, bottled imports like Newcastle and Amstel are available, not to mention mimosas.

The one thing that distinguishes Rooster Café from a typical greasy spoon is the quality of the food. The ingredients are actually fresh, bringing an element of gourmet, not like the food was just thrown in a microwave or cooked in a deep fryer. The French dip is a popular example of this. Thinly sliced cuts of roast beef are served with sautéed mushrooms, grilled onions, and melted swiss cheese, all piled into a French roll, thus making it as much a cheesesteak as it is a French dip. But served piping hot with standard au jus on the side, it’s actually a really good sandwich, not just a really good late-night sandwich (big difference). In other words, sober people will appreciate the food as much as a drunk. The sandwich comes out literally steaming because of the meat, and the onions and mushrooms give it plenty of extra flavor, with the fresh roll providing the appropriate amount of crunch to absorb the au jus without getting soggy.

The breakfast burrito here is a little better than the roach coach variety

The breakfast burrito is also a tasty dish that provides the comfort of post-bar finger food without compromising the quality of the food. Anyone who eats at roach coaches knows about the legend of roach coach breakfast burritos. Warm, greasy, so good going down, not so good coming out. The Rooster Café breakfast burrito is just as good going down, not as greasy, and does not result in the same degree of aftershocks. The burritos are thick, a big flour tortilla filled with fluffy scrambled eggs, hash browned potatoes, melted cheddar cheese, bacon or Portuguese sausage, with a side of fresh pico de gallo. The potatoes are not overly fried, helping to reduce the oiliness that weighs roach coach burritos down. The amount of meat and cheese is moderated to bring great flavor without dominating the dish and the lightness of the eggs and the coolness of the pico de gallo really lift the burrito. In effect, you get the benefit of feeling like you’re eating greasy food to absorb the alcohol without it being too greasy (relatively speaking).

When you’re on the lookout for a little nightcap, and you have that bug, any food will do. But it’s nice to find a place like Rooster Café that is a decent spot to hang out in after the bars have closed, yet offers good food that you may even remember when you wake up in the morning.

Rooster Café
750 St. Clair St.
Costa Mesa, CA 92626

Monday, October 22, 2007

Bruin Recap - Roaring Back Against the Bears

(Originally posted on LAist on October 22)

Karl Dorrell and the Bruins had plenty to cheer about this weekYou take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life. And UCLA football under Karl Dorrell.

Two weeks ago, the obituaries for Dorrell’s job were already being written after the Bruins were humiliated by two touchdowns to previously winless Notre Dame. The same Notre Dame that USC just undressed 38-0 this past Saturday. There have been few moments in my time as a Bruin fan that I can remember any coach or team receiving the amount of vitriol that were spouted during the days immediately following the loss. Bruin fans were out for blood.

But if there’s anything we’ve learned about the football program during Dorrell’s tenure, it’s that the team is capable of as many brilliant highs as spectacular lows. It’s this inconsistency which makes it so maddeningly frustrating to support the team. It pains us to see the possibility of what we could be if we lived up to the potential. And it teases us by giving us hope that we’re on the doorstep of finally fulfilling that potential. We experience the exhilaration of watching our team play its game, stand toe-to-toe with a highly-regarded rival, and emerge the victor. We revel in the glory of a hard-fought 30-21 win over #10 Cal, applauding our heroes, yet stand afraid, wanting so desperately to hold on to this feeling but not wanting to put our faith back into this team just to get burned once more. This is the dilemma that faces UCLA fans today.

For now, considering all of the criticism that we’ve bestowed on to the team for its underachievement so far this season, it is only fair to celebrate it for playing a game worthy of the offset ‘C’ that highlights the end zone, signifying the unprecedented 100 team championships that the UCLA athletic program earned this past year. While it was Alterraun Verner’s pick-six when Cal was driving to kick the winning field goal that clinched the game, this was a team effort. The Bruins got contributions from all of the units, even the much-maligned coaching staff. Never mind the fact that Cal was just minutes away from being #1 last week, what showed on the Rose Bowl field was a UCLA team that prepared better and simply outplayed a highly-talented foe.

Once again, the defense led the way, containing an explosive Cal offense that featured Heisman candidate DeSean Jackson. While Jackson still had a big day, the Bruins totally shut down Cal’s running game, including Justin Forsett, who came in leading the conference in rushing. Kevin Brown anchored a strong effort by the defensive line, which controlled the line of scrimmage, allowing linebackers Christian Taylor (who is in recovery after suffering a seizure following a concussion), Reggie Carter, and Kyle Bosworth to come up and attack. Considering the quality of Cal’s receivers, the defensive secondary covered well, and prevented any game-breaking plays with sure tackling. This marked the third straight game that the defense held the opposing team below its season average in yards, with Cal gaining nearly 130 yards fewer than normal.

Kahlil Bell was the workhorse on offense again this weekWhat made the defense even more effective was the Bruins’ efficiency on offense. The Bruins kept the defense off the field by churning up first downs and burning the clock with a balanced attack (183 yards rushing/190 yards passing). Not surprisingly, the offense was effective with Pat Cowan back under center, despite being hobbled by a torn MCL. For whatever reason, the offense as a whole seems to play better when Cowan is playing QB as opposed to Ben Olson, and I’ll say it again, he should be the starter from here on out if he can stay healthy. Cowan made good decisions and reads, and protected the ball (save for a botched handoff). While his accuracy was unpredictable and his throws to the outside looked like ducks waiting to be picked off, his understanding of the game compensated for his physical shortcomings by putting the ball where it needed to be and avoiding risky plays. The receivers took advantage of Cal’s suspect secondary, getting separation from the DBs for a change giving Cowan opportunities to throw. Brandon Breazell, as he has been all year, was the man, catching balls, running end-arounds, and throwing touchdown passes (more on that later). And Pat’s brother Joe Cowan made several plays in critical situations. The offensive line turned in perhaps its best performance of the season, winning the battle upfront to create running lanes for Kahlil Bell, but also providing solid pass protection, giving Pat more time to throw than the quarterbacks have had in recent weeks. Bell, of course, continued to anchor of the offense. With Chris Markey effectively sidelined with a turf toe injury, Bell wore down the Cal defense, gaining 142 big yards.

The one thing the Bruins have been consistently successful with this year is special teams. Saturday showed exactly how important this aspect of the game is. Kai Forbath, the phenomenal freshman kicker for UCLA, made another three field goals, giving him ten consecutive makes over four games. On the other sideline, Cal kicker Jordan Kay missed his only attempt, giving him five misses in his last seven attempts. Margin of victory? Yep, nine points. Meanwhile, punter Aaron Perez didn’t give Jackson any opportunity to make one of his ridiculous returns like last season.

Alterraun Verner taking it to the house to clinch the Bruin victoryI’ve ripped on the coaching staff for not getting players ready to play and for highly suspect playcalling, but this week, they earned their money. DeWayne Walker had his defense up for the challenge this week. As Verner said about his interception after the game, he was able to jump Jackson’s out route because he identified what play was coming pre-snap; a great individual play, no doubt, but also attributable to excellent preparation. Walker also made some great halftime adjustments to slow down Cal’s passing attack by featuring more blitz packages to disrupt the timing of QB Nate Longshore and his gimpy ankle. Offensive coordinator Jay Norvell showed a little more imagination this week, running the aforementioned Breazell end-arounds to set up the beautiful end-around pass from Breazell to Dominique Johnson. Norvell dialed up more middle screens as well, capitalizing on Cal’s overaggressive defense, and helping keep UCLA in more manageable third-down situations. It was in direct contrast to the playcalling of Jeff Tedford, the guy whose supposed coaching abilities are lusted after by many Bruin fans. He was extraordinarly conservative, particularly in the second half. I’m used to seeing the run-run-pass offense from UCLA, but to see Cal not getting the ball into the hands of its playmakers was strange. Even though Cal was having some success in third-and-long situations, it made the Bears’ offense entirely predictable, culminating in the pivotal interception when it was the Bruins that were on the ropes. For once, it was the Bruins that were the aggressor, well, relatively speaking.

Which brings us back to the man in charge, Mr. Dorrell. He took his lumps these last two weeks, suffered through countless calls for his dismissal, and used the bye week to circle the wagons and get his team ready to play. Dorrell may not be a lot of things, but he is a fighter. Every time fans are ready to write him off, he somehow gets off the mat and the team responds. He had his share of classic Karl moments, most notably the inexplicable 4th and 1 decision to punt at Cal’s 38 late in the third quarter which elicited thunderous boos from the crowd. It wasn’t enough that he acted like a scared little girl, even though the Bruins were losing and moving the ball effectively, it was also that he wasted a timeout to set up the “try to draw the defense offsides” play. As he said in his post-game press conference, “I didn’t want to make a mistake.” Which is always how he has coached, play not to lose, the attitude that Bruin fans hate. But give the man his due, he sticks to his guns, probably too stubbornly, never changing in his approach, his demeanor, or his attitude, no matter how well or how poorly the team is playing. He is who he is. Although it’s totally fair to ask why his players don’t put forth this kind of effort every and execution week, Dorrell does deserve the credit for getting the Bruins to play well this week. And he did so against a team and a coach that many of the Bruin faithful perceive as having surpassed UCLA as a program.

I don’t really think this win changes anything other than silencing some of the critics for now. The Dorrell-era Bruins have always delivered these moments and gotten fans’ hopes up, only to follow it up with a stinkbomb. So the true test is whether this is the start of a run at the Rose Bowl, or just the one high point of the season before descending back into mediocrity. The next two weeks feature road games against bottom feeders Washington St. and Arizona, games that UCLA on paper has the decided advantage. On paper, the Bruins are tied atop the Pac-10 standings at 4-0. But we all know that games aren’t played on paper. There isn’t a Bruin fan out there who isn’t scared that the team might lose one or both of these games. At the same time, Saturday showed that there’s no reason to believe that the Bruins can’t win the rest of their games as well. We know what history suggests. Thanks to the win over Cal, Dorrell still has his chance to rewrite those history books before the story ends.

AP photos by Kevork Djansezian and Richard Vogel

Friday, October 19, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – Blimey, Thar Be Some Cajun Grub to Pillage

(Originally posted on LAist on October 19)

Cajun crawfish, Vietnamese-style

Every week, we present you with a unique OC dining experience. Sometimes that means excellent food at an underappreciated local spot. Other times that means an interesting atmosphere or eating environment.

And then there’s Claws Restaurant. A newly-opened pirate-themed, Vietnamese-run Cajun joint. In the heavily minority city of Garden Grove.

What’s interesting is that Cajun restaurants have become big business around Little Saigon and Garden Grove over the last couple of years, perhaps owing to the similarities in the French cultural roots of both Cajun and Vietnamese cooking (just think how perfect Sriracha sauce would be with your fried catfish). The gold standard is The Boiling Crab, which also just opened an Alhambra location a few months ago. But there are several imitators, of which Claws happens to be the latest.

So when I heard about Claws’ grand opening less than a month ago, I didn’t really take notice. Another place with an $8/lb crawfish boil. But then I heard it was pirate-themed, and went on the website and saw management promoting itself with statements like “if any pirate shall offer to run away without drinking beer shall be marroon’d [sic] with one bottle of diet coke, and pinched by the captain.” Oh yes, I’m there. I’m thinking this could be a real-life enactment of that Fresh Prince episode where Will works at that pirate restaurant to pay for his homecoming dance (OK no one got that last reference, but you can YouTube it here, here, and here).

And indeed, the restaurant looks like you walked into the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, with life-size pirate figures, paintings of vessels, and skeleton-decorated banners strewn across the ceiling. About the only thing it was missing was the costumed help with a parrot on the shoulder (if Hot Dog on a Stick employees can be convinced to wear those ridiculous multi-colored, big-hat getups, why not make them wear eyepatches and peglegs). Of course, the eight tracks of Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, and Kanye West that were on blast didn’t exactly fit with the “Yo Ho” atmosphere.

A picture of little Pinchy before I devoured himThe menu is pretty standard fare, with all types of fried seafood, as well as crab, mussels, oysters, and clams. Traditional Cajun dishes like etouffee, jambalaya, and gumbo are available as well. However, given that these restaurants are known for their crawfish boils, I had to oblige (though Claws only serves crawfish from NorCal and not Louisiana). After having had fresh stone crabs in Miami last weekend, eating crawfish was kind of like downgrading from a Ruth’s Chris filet to a Norm’s T-Bone steak and eggs. Still, there’s always something primitively enjoyable about reaching your hand into that plastic bag, pulling apart those little crawfish and gnawing at the innards. Suck the head, eat the tail, right? I ordered a pound, spicy, with Claws’ cannonball flavor (a mixture of Cajun, garlic butter, and lemon pepper seasoning). The spices were robust, and after about three crawfish, all I could feel was burn, and occasionally garlic. But the spice mix was tasty, and even today I’m getting hungry smelling the remaining residue on my fingers that I haven’t been able to get rid of overnight. As far as the crawfish meat was concerned, the choice tail pieces had the familiar crustacean taste, though prying them open killed my fingers. I even went all out and sucked up the body meat, with the uncomfortable combination of chewy, liquidy, and crunchy comprising the various textures of the body and organs, and that unmistakable flavor (for lack of a better word) of those components. And anytime I my taste buds got too overwhelmed, I had my trusty friend Sam Adams there to give me a hand.

Here's the gumboI also ordered the gumbo, which was a perfectly good pot of shrimp, andouille sausage, mussels, and fish mixed in a brown roux with okra, celery, bell peppers, and onions. After some Wikipedia research, I determined that the inclusion of tomatoes in the roux made it more Creole-style than Cajun-style. Either way, I’ll gladly have me some more of it. You have the option for with or without rice, but interestingly enough, the rice was mixed into the gumbo like a jambalaya as opposed to served on top of rice.

And since I needed something to help absorb the spices of my crawfish, I picked up an order of fried okra (bah health, save the corn for another day). Lightly breaded, and served with a side of ranch, the okra made a nice little bite-size side. In fact, I think bars should serve fried okra; they taste lighter than fries and give you the juiciness of a green vegetable, as opposed to the starchiness of a potato. The okra were simply seasoned with salt and pepper; certainly nothing gourmet here, but good old-fashioned finger food.

Fried okraIf you happen to hurry down there this weekend, Claws is finishing its grand-opening promotion which features 20% off your ticket, free soda, and $2 domestic beers (please remember to drink responsibly, drinking six beers is still not going to put out that fire on your tongue). And they even hooked me up with a little portion of coconut jello for dessert.

Yes, it seems a little counterintuitive to make a trip to Westminster/Garden Grove and eat anything but Vietnamese (or Korean) food. I’m not one to vouch for the authenticity of Cajun food, but I think you could do much worse. And there aren’t even any pirates holding a sword to my throat to make me type this.

Claws Restaurant
12093 Brookhurst St. #E
Garden Grove, CA 92840

Friday, October 12, 2007

Late Night Eats: Regent Cafe

(Originally posted on LAist on October 12)

IMG_9762a.jpg

One of the things I love most about LA is the depth of its cultural diversity. I don’t love the fact that it’s so segregated, but I appreciate the fact that in contrast to the outsider view that LA is simply a vapid, endless string of cookie-cutter communities, every neighborhood has its own character and identity (witness our Neighborhood Projects). Which means that no matter what you’re into, you can find a place that fits your personality and style.

As anyone that knows anything about LA knows, the San Gabriel Valley is where a good portion of the more than 400,000 LA County Chinese residents live. Though bordering on East LA and Pasadena, it feels a world apart, from all of the Chinese businesses and signage to the overwhelming amount of Cantonese, Mandarin, and Taiwanese spoken (depending on where you are). While the cities in the San Gabriel Valley are much closer to suburban than urban, and thus lacking in many bars and late night entertainment, there still exists a wealth of after-hour locations to eat. Regent Cafe in Alhambra is just one of these options.

Regent is a Hong Kong-style café, which can best described in American terms as a Chinese diner. Like an American diner, these cafés are open almost around the clock and have a wide variety of foods to choose from. The roots of Hong Kong cafés originate from the Western influence of the British, serving a combination of Cantonese imitations of Western dishes and traditional Chinese food and beverages. There are over 150 items on Regent’s menu, including pastas, curries, noodles, rice dishes, and even steaks and seafood, so it’s almost guaranteed that you can find something that you want to eat on the menu. You can opt for old stodgy classics like Chicken a la King or more exotic fare like baked ox tongue. Additionally, desserts like soufflé, crepes, and cakes are available, along with specialty drinks like boba tea.

Besides the hours and variety, Hong Kong-style cafes also tend to be similar to classic diners in that you get what you pay for. That is, the food is nothing to write home about, but is very reasonably priced. At Regent, most of the dishes are between $5 and $8, so you can get a good-portioned late-night snack without having to hit up the ATM.

If you’ve spent much time in the SGV, you know that if you’re only an English speaker, it can be pretty difficult to get much help of any kind, particularly at many restaurants. The wait staff at Regent is proficient enough in English, though having a Cantonese speaker with you generally means you’ll get more attentive service (not that it’s very good in the first place). The crowd is almost all Chinese, not surprisingly, and quiets down pretty significantly later on in the evening. Like all the other cafes in the area, people tend to go to Regent simply to grease their stomach and just loiter with friends. The atmosphere is much more welcoming than a lot of Chinese restaurants, with American soft rock music over the loudspeaker, high airy ceilings, an abundance of green plants, and light pastel colors, making it a pleasant place to simply hang out.

Tan chai porridgeAs I mentioned before, one does not go to cafes for the food, one goes to eat. On this particular night, I opted for the tan chai porridge, fish fillet on rice satay, and a red bean milkshake. The porridge was primarily a seafood congee, with shrimp, squid, and jellyfish, but topped with sliced peanuts, fried wontons, and scallions, sort of a strange combination of flavors and textures. It’s a huge bowl, and I really wasn’t in the mood to eat that much, especially given how bland congee tends to be. On the other hand, the fish fillet had a lot more flavor, served with sliced onions in a not-too-spicy brown sauce. Served on a bed of rice, it was simple, but easy on the stomach after a long night. This would be a dish that I would be OK with ordering for dinner as well. And of course I had to balance the sweet and the savory, made all the easier since I’m a sucker for milkshakes. The red bean milkshake was essentially a surprisingly good vanilla milkshake with scoops of red beans mixed in (not completely blended). Adding the red bean diluted some of the sweetness while adding some textural contrast, but not so much that it stopped being a beverage. Definitely yummy.

Fish fillet on rice satay Red bean milkshake



Regent Cafe is not the most well-known or the most popular café in the area, but it just happens to be the one that I end up at most frequently because of its convenient location at Garfield and Valley. So if you’re not satisfied with your food or your service, you can always drive down Valley to another café. Or, ironically, you can pop across the street to the original location of The Hat for their bomb pastrami dip sandwich. Ain’t diversity grand?

Regent Cafe
1411 S. Garfield Ave.
Alhambra, CA 91801
(626) 289-9398

Sun-Thu: 10 am-1 am
Fri-Sat: 10 am-3 am

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – Yes, It Tastes Like Chicken

(Originally posted on LAist on October 12)

Rosine's delectable rotisserie chicken combination plate

As someone who rarely eats red meat (but is not a vegetarian), my options for protein are pretty limited. Consequently, I eat a lot of chicken as well as a fair amount of fish. Chicken obviously is not the most exciting meat to eat, and despite many attempts to prepare chicken in every conceivable manner to extract some discernible flavor (except maybe sous vide, sorry Hung), I usually end up with a bland piece of poultry that I have to goose up by dousing it in some sauce or killing it with spices.

However, at Rosine’s in Anaheim Hills, the taste of chicken is elevated to a level far beyond my conventional eating experience. Rosine’s is a family-owned Eastern Mediterranean restaurant mostly known for its rotisserie chicken, although the menu also contains an extensive assortment of kebabs, pita sandwiches, and a handful of other traditional Mediterranean dishes. While entrees are fairly priced from $8-$12 for lunch and $11-$18 for dinner, by far the best deal is the rotisserie chicken combination plate. Not only do you get a half-chicken, but also two sides from the restaurant’s long list, plus a serving of the garlic sauce, all for $9.50. Rosine’s also has an impressive wine list for a restaurant of its size and stature, including a number of German Rieslings, Lebanese Reds, and many French and Californian selections.

What makes the rotisserie chicken so good? I don’t know the preparation secret, although I was highly tempted to ask. What I do know is that the chicken comes out incredibly moist. Like not just moist, but melt in your mouth moist. Wow. I took that first bite and I was really stunned, which doesn’t really happen that much (it was probably my low expectation chicken bias kicking in). The amazing thing was that the natural flavor of the meat really came out, proving to me that as bland as chicken breast can be, it doesn’t necessarily have to taste so generically. The bird wasn’t seasoned that heavily, but it didn’t need to be, and the golden, slightly crispy skin just burst with flavor. Surprisingly, the “special” garlic sauce (which is more like a spread), which I would normally suffocate the chicken with, became more of the complementary flavor rather than the dominant flavor.

The selection of sides is almost as long as the selection of entrees, offering cold dishes like hummus and tabbouleh, salads, and potatoes to name a few. My first side was the ratatouille, which I had had a craving for since Dale’s deconstructed ratatouille on Top Chef and the adorable (yet disgusting) rat’s specialty dish in the Pixar movie. While I didn’t have that “a-ha” moment like in the movie, I did enjoy the stewed vegetables and herbs. The dish was skewed towards the tomatoes and the zucchini, but also included eggplant, peppers, and carrots. It was a nice hearty accompaniment to the chicken and an excellent contrast to my other side, the wheat pilav. The pilaf, mixed with orzo, contained the grainy taste of the bulgur, but was extremely buttery, giving it a heaviness that was a bit unwanted. Nevertheless, the combination of the three items made for a very well-balanced meal with no shortage of sensations to my tastebuds.

The interesting thing about the restaurant is that it is designed to look much more decadent than the outside or the menu would suggest. The lighting is very dim, relying on candles at each table and on the walls to illuminate the room. The resulting effect is a more intimate, formal setting, which is contradictory to the simple plating and tableware. Rosine’s also displays some of its war chest of wine, with racks built into the wall separating the dining room and the kitchen and more bottles prominently displayed in a small cabinet. Thus, while you are getting a pretty simple meal, you feel like you are dining out at a higher end restaurant.

My biggest complaint? Every time I eat my own poorly cooked, dried out chicken breast, I’m going to be thinking of Rosine’s rotisserie chicken, annoyed that I have to subject myself to such boring, bland food. Thanks for nothing Rosine’s.

Rosine’s
721 S. Weir Canyon Rd.
Anaheim, CA 92808

Monday, October 8, 2007

Bruin Recap – Time to Dust Off That Resumé Karl (I Hope)

(Originally posted on LAist on October 8)
(Featured on Bruins Nation on October 9)

McLeod Bethel-Thompson was repeatedly harassed by Notre Dame's crummy defenseIt was my mom’s birthday this weekend and we got to spend a nice dinner together just talking and enjoying each other’s company. Moms are great in that they’ll always be your biggest fan no matter how much you screw up or disappoint them (and I’ve certainly had my fair share of screw-ups and disappointments).

What do moms have to do with UCLA football? Pretty simple. After the Bruins’ latest embarrassing loss, 20-6 to previously winless Notre Dame, about the only person who still supports Karl Dorrell’s tenure as coach is probably his mother. Only a mom could stay blindly loyal to someone who has managed to turn the name ‘UCLA’ into a national punchline by losing handily to a team who has been the laughingstock of football the entire season.

For many Bruin football followers, this loss is the culmination of nearly five years of angst which began the moment Dorrell was hired, owing to the highly suspect coaching search which landed him, and the coach’s lack of credentials for taking over a program of this caliber. The optimists have been trying to hold out hope that the positives from Dorrell’s regime, such as the clean up of the mess left by Bob Toledo, the improvement of the locker room culture, and rebuilding of the local recruiting pipeline, could outweigh the obvious deficiencies in strategic vision, game-planning, and in-game adjustments. And just about everyone wanted Dorrell to be successful because of his Bruin heritage, his likable personality (despite the lack of charisma), and his work ethic. However, this game simply confirmed the mounting evidence that the program has gone as far as it is going to go with this coach. And I’d have to say that Bruin Nation is not terribly enthused about another fifth-place conference finish and loss in the Waste Management Mediocrity Bowl (OK I made that one up), which is about what this year’s “breakthrough” team seems destined for.

Ben Olson hurt his knee again, leaving the Bruins with no experience at the QB positionCertainly, the excuse can be made that injuries cost the Bruins the game (or as Karl alluded to in his post-game interview, the team is “snakebit”). Starting QB Ben Olson injured his knee on a sack in the first quarter, and with backup Patrick Cowan also sidelined with a knee injury, the burden fell on walk-on freshman McLeod Bethel-Thompson to lead the team. Let’s just say he brought new meaning to the term ‘deer in headlights’, as evidenced by the five turnovers and four sacks he gave up (the lack of blocking definitely didn’t help). I love the story of the movie Rudy, but dude never had to be in position to win a game on national TV with the ball in his hands for three-plus quarters. Poor McLeod did as much as a kid with his level of experience and talent could do, but he clearly wasn’t ready.

Nevertheless, there is no justification for the number of mistakes made by veteran players. A season-high 11 penalties, including a holding penalty on Logan Paulsen that negated a long touchdown pass. Kahlil Bell had another fumble, plus a drop of a wide-open touchdown pass during a possession that ultimately ended up in an interception. Yes, players are responsible for making the plays on the field, but when the team is making the same mistakes every week, somehow whatever the coaching staff is telling them isn’t sinking in. Every week in his press conference, Dorrell points out that the team needs to execute better. Newsflash, they haven’t executed well all season, maybe there’s something wrong with the gameplan and the overall philosophy that needs adjusting.

The Karl Dorrell regime could be down to its final six gamesAnd that last point is the glaring takeaway from this game: the coaching staff is either not flexible enough or not smart enough to make changes, either to the entire offensive system, or to specific gameplans during the game. For five seasons, Dorrell has attempted to implement his West Coast offense philosophy with mixed success (national ranking in scoring: ’03-100, ’04-29, ’05-5, ’06-64, ’07-57), rigidly sticking to it despite having very different personnel during those years. Over the last couple of seasons when the offense has been mediocre at best, it’s been obvious that Olson is far more comfortable taking deep drops and throwing downfield, while Cowan is better suited to quick reads and short and intermediate routes. But the gameplans haven’t been adjusted to play to those specifc strengths.

On Saturday, the Bruins were facing the second-worst rushing defense in the country. Given that UCLA’s offensive strength is the running game (despite Chris Markey’s absence), and with a THIRD-STRING FRESHMAN WALK-ON under center, you would think that they would pound the ball, even if Notre Dame loaded up the box and blitzed all night (which they did). After all, two weeks ago against Washington, when Bethel-Thompson came in early in the fourth quarter (albeit with a lead) after Cowan got hurt, they ran it 19 times; the only pass play was a botched halfback pass. So why did they all of a sudden get pass-happy against the Irish? Your starting quarterback is no longer in the game, maybe you should try to put the game in the hands of your senior running back and senior offensive line rather than an inexperienced freshman quarterback.

Three plays in particular exemplified the idiocy of the playcalling. Play #1, second quarter, third-and-two in Notre Dame territory, the Bruins have moved the ball 40 yards with five runs and one pass. Jay Norvell calls a rollout pass to the tight end. Incomplete pass. Punt. Play #2, third quarter, fourth-and-one in field goal range with a 6-3 lead. Bruins burn a timeout, then call a five-wide set with no running backs. Not even trying to disguise a pass! McLeod gets sacked. Irish have the ball and momentum. Play #3, third quarter, third-and-six on their own five-yard-line. Rollout pass in the end zone for a corner route to the tight end, not exactly a safe pass play. Ball intercepted and returned inside the five, leading to the go-ahead touchdown. WTF? There were only two negative rushing plays (excluding sacks and fumbled snaps) the whole game. Why are you relying on the weakest part of your team, letting your overmatched QB try to make risky plays, instead of relying on the strongest part of your team: defense, special teams, and running game?

The defense did its job, but it couldn't make up for the woeful showing by the offenseI’m sure McLeod feels terrible because his poor play led to the Bruins losing the game. But in reality, the coaching staff did not put him in position to be successful, it put him in a position to make mistakes. That is what is most disheartening about the loss. Unlike the Utah game, which was far more embarrassing in terms of lack of effort on the field, this loss wasn’t about players not showing up to play as much as it was an inability for Dorrell and staff to give them the best opportunity to win. And that’s a shame for these kids that generally work hard and represent the types of student-athletes we can be proud of. On a night where the defense played strong, neutralizing the punchless Notre Dame offense (140 total yards and only three points allowed that weren’t the direct result of turnovers), there should be no reason why they look up at the scoreboard and see a 14-point defeat and watch the humiliating scene of opposing players celebrating on the Rose Bowl grass.

Perhaps the most telling sign of the current state of affairs was the fan response in the early stages of the game when everyone still thought that the Bruins would win. There were a number of Irish fans sitting in my section (and in every other section) and despite their team’s 0-5 debacle of a season to that point and poor execution on the field, they still conveyed optimism and enthusiasm because they’re excited about the direction that Charlie Weis has the program headed in the right direction. Contrast that to the Bruin fans, who were groaning after every bad play, expecting something bad to happen because that’s what seems to happen to this team under Dorrell, despite a seemingly lofty 4-1 record. There is no confidence in the direction of the program, only the expectation that things are going to get worse. How can this be allowed to continue?

Now the big question is whether the athletic department, which supposedly loves Karl, has the stones to pull the trigger (and if you want to encourage them, AD Dan Guerrero’s email is dguerrero@athletics.ucla.edu). It may cost them this stellar recruiting class that Dorrell is bringing in, and it will cost a lot of money to buyout some contracts. But you know what, if someone doesn’t know how to drive a car, it’s not going to matter whether he has a Ferrari or he has a Kia. The car is still not going to go anywhere. It’s time to find someone that’s got his drivers license, even if his car his only a Camry.

The only good news from Saturday? Stanford 24 USC 23. Sad to say, that was about the only thing that elicited much of a cheer from Bruin fans at the Rose Bowl. Yay, we can take comfort in the fact that we weren’t the only team to embarrass ourselves this weekend. Yes, this is UCLA football.

AP Photos by Kevork Djansezian

Friday, October 5, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

(Originally posted on LAist on October 5)

I eat this spicy tuna don and sansai soba noodle combination at least once a week

Several years ago, I used to work in Downtown. Because I would often work through lunch, I had a certain place (Skew’s at Cal Plaza) that I would grab for takeout at every day. It was the combination of quality food (for a fast-casual place), large portions (necessary for someone that eats as much as I do), and healthy menu items (plain chicken breast, salad, brown rice) that continued to draw me back despite a plethora of other options in the area. And it wasn’t just that I went there every day, it was that I ordered the exact same thing every day (albeit getting a different sauce with the chicken). It’s not that I’m a total creature of habit; in fact, I love to try new things. But occasionally, I’ll find something that I enjoy so much that I don’t even bother to try anything else.

So about a year ago, I stumbled upon Fukada in Irvine. There are a ton of quality Japanese restaurants in the central Orange County area, so despite its lofty recommendations (it’s a Yelp favorite), I wasn’t expecting it to be that memorable. It was memorable. And even though I go back all the time and order the same Spicy Tuna Don on brown rice with sansai soba noodles (unless I order the Unagi Don), I never walk away feeling disappointed. Except for the absurdly long lines that often greet me (particularly during lunch).

Although Fukada has a full array of Japanese dishes, it is best known for its handmade noodles. The restaurant serves both udon, which are the thick wheat noodles, and soba, which are the thin buckwheat noodles, in both hot and cold form. The noodles are topped with any number of ingredients, including oroshi (Japanese radish), chikara (mochi), or kamonanban (cooked duck), and served in a soy-based broth. For the combination plate that I always order, your options are sansai (Japanese mountain vegetables) or tanuki (tempura). I love the sansai because of the lightness of the vegetables, which helps give the noodles a crispness (not to mention some color) for a wholly satisfying, but healthy dish.

Besides the freshness of the food, dishes are extremely affordable considering the quality. I love me some $5 ramen at the numerous spots in Little Tokyo/Little Osaka, so Fukada’s noodles are slightly more expensive, ranging in price from $6-$9, depending on your selection of toppings. Where the value comes in is the combination plate. The restaurant’s special is a donburi (bowl of rice with your choice of protein) and an order of noodles, a full, well-rounded meal at a highly affordable price (lunch $9/dinner $11). As I mentioned earlier, I am highly partial to the Spicy Tuna Don on brown rice. The tuna is not overly loaded with mayonnaise or Japanese hot pepper as you may get at some sushi restaurants, helping to keep it lighter on the stomach. Fukada gives you a big glop on top of a nice bed of rice (gotta have brown rice, not only for the additional fiber and nutrients, but the slightly grainy taste and texture) and some nori (seaweed) flakes. Add a little wasabi and (low sodium) soy sauce and you get more yummy goodness. My fallback is the Unagi Don, which replaces the spicy tuna with a nice chunk of sliced freshwater eel, topped with kabayaki sauce. Either way, you really can’t go wrong.

Fukada is a smallish restaurant seating maybe 50 people, which contributes to the crowdedness, though the wait staff cycles tables through relatively fast. The décor is minimalist, with long wooden tables and wooden benches in the middle, and individual tables on the side. Thus, you may not only get some great food, but also some great conversation with random strangers as you bump elbows in the cramped seating arrangements.

So I’ve probably been to Fukada at least 25 times and tried maybe five things on the menu. For all I know, the rest of its food could totally blow (I doubt it, but it’s possible). I do know that I’ve never misfired on my tried and true, and that’s what keeps me coming back. Over and over. And over. In fact, I’m getting a little hungry right now.

Fukada
8683 Irvine Center Dr.
Irvine, CA 92718

Monday, October 1, 2007

Bruin Recap - In a Comedy of Errors, UCLA Gets the Last Laugh

(Originally posted on LAist on October 1)

Nikola Dragovic and the UCLA defensive line punished Sean Canfield all day40-14. Sounds like an impressive UCLA road win over Oregon St., something that has not come very often during the Dorrell era. In reality, it was a comically bad display of execution by both teams, with the Bruins finally able to take advantage of the Beavers’ total ineptitude on offense and special teams.

With all of the upsets in college football this weekend, any win is a good win, no matter how ugly it is. And make no mistake about it, this was one of the ugliest, at least until about midway through the fourth quarter when Oregon St. completely imploded and the Bruins ran off 28 points in seven minutes.

How ugly was it? Kahlil Bell fumbled on the Bruins’ first two offensive plays, the second getting returned for a touchdown. UCLA had eight penalties, including six offensive penalties in the second half. On one fantastic sequence in the third quarter, the Bruins were facing third and one on the Oregon St. seven-yard line, poised for the go-ahead touchdown. UCLA committed two false start penalties in a row, then Ben Olson forced a ball into double coverage that got intercepted. Bruin football, feel the excitement.

Fortunately, Oregon St. was measurably worse. The Beavers came into the game worst in the nation in committing turnovers, and they gave away five more, mostly on unforced mistakes like the fumbles on consecutive kickoff returns in the fourth quarter that allowed the Bruins to break the game open. They had a touchdown called back on a facemask penalty. Their All-American kicker missed a field goal. They had a punt blocked. It was so unbelievably awful, it felt scripted out of a movie.

Kory Bosworth and the Bruin defense played their best game of the seasonOn the positive side, the UCLA defense brought its ‘A’ game. With the Bruin offense unable to even get a first down until midway through the second quarter, Oregon St. was able to jump out to a 14-0 lead. It looked like the Utah game was happening all over again. Thankfully for Bruin fans, the Beavers offense sought to prove it could be even more inept. Unlike every other opponent this season, the Beavers didn’t try to spread the field, which allowed UCLA’s front seven to dictate the flow of the game. While Beaver running back Yvenson Bernard found some success on the ground for 125 yards, the Bruin defense held him in check after the first three drives, daring quarterback Sean Canfield to beat them. And he couldn’t. Every pass he threw was an adventure, equally likely to end up in the arms of a Bruin defender as a Beaver receiver, and there was no attempt to throw the ball down the field. Trey Brown had two picks, but there were several other near interceptions. Oregon St. only managed 107 yards total offense after the first quarter, giving the Bruins the time to chip away at the lead with the offense (and it would need a lot of time). It was clearly the most dominant performance of the season for a unit that was highly regarded before the season, but had been grossly underachieving.

Kahlil Bell fumbled twice but made some key runs later in the gameFrom an offensive perspective, the brief fourth quarter explosion should not overshadow the fact that the Bruin offense was really bad for most of the game. Oregon St. came into the game second in the country in rushing defense, so it was not surprising that the UCLA running game wasn’t terribly effective (50 carries for 133 yards), though it gained more yards than the Beavers had allowed in their first four games combined. By sticking with Bell (despite his fumbles) and Chris Markey, the Bruin line wore down the Beaver line in the fourth quarter.

Ben Olson and the passing game are still very much a work in progressHowever, the passing game was out of sync again, with nearly half of Ben Olson’s yards coming on two touchdown plays to Brandon Breazell: a 69-yard slip screen and then a great 30-yard deep post. The Bruins found some success with screen passes to the running backs to capitalize on the Beavers’ aggressiveness, which had been missing from the repertoire this year. But there were no completions, besides the one touchdown, beyond about seven yards down the field. Jay Norvell tried without success to incorporate more deep sideline patterns to utilize Olson’s arm, but seemed to abandon any intermediate routes. Still, Olson played decently, quieting the pro-Patrick Cowan crowd (like me) for the time being. He appeared a little more comfortable in the pocket than his past two starts, and showed he can make some throws when given time. Furthermore, he didn’t make as many poor throws as previous starts, other than the bad interception (sadly that’s the standard these days). The problem is that with the shaky play of the offensive line and the predictability of the offense, he’s been unnecessarily under fire a lot of times throughout the season. For example, the vanilla playcalling on first down on Saturday (23 runs versus 8 passes, conservative much?) put the Bruins in a lot of second and long situations, leading to obvious passing situations where Oregon St. could apply some pressure. The bottom line is that it seemed questionable whether UCLA could even score more than 14 points to complete the comeback, and that speaks volumes about how far the offense needs to go, both in schemes and execution.

UCLA needs more big plays from the likes of Brandon BreazellThe biggest difference in the game was the disparity in special teams. I touted the strength of UCLA’s special teams last week, and it was clear how impactful a good special teams unit can be, particularly contrasted against a unit as woeful as that of Oregon St. Besides the aforementioned mistakes of the Beavers (the two fumbled kickoff returns, missed field goal, and blocked punt cost them 24 points in total), Alexis Serna was also terrible on punts (no surprise there, he’s last in the nation in punting), averaging less than 29 yards per kick – though to be fair, Serna is only punting because the starting punter quit the team – helping the Bruins win the field position battle. Meanwhile, Aaron Perez pinned the Beavers inside the 20 twice, while Kai Forbath connected on two more field goals. Matthew Slater again was a force, recovering a fumble and making at least three tackles just on kickoffs. In a game where both offenses are struggling, better field position can be the deciding factor, and it was pivotal in Saturday’s contest.

So now what? The Bruins are 4-1 and 3-0 in the Pac-10. Yet it still feels like they aren’t playing good football, and fans are just waiting for other shoe to drop, also known as the annual Karl Dorrell post-October swoon. UCLA did enough things right to beat a lower-tier Oregon St. team, but improvement better be coming quick with four top-20 teams still on the schedule. Since winless Notre Dame comes to town this week, we probably won’t get a feel for how average good this team really is until October 20 when mighty #3 Cal (?!?) visits the Rose Bowl. Good enough isn’t going to cut it for much longer. The question is whether the Bruins have it in them to put together some complete performances, or if we’re going to have to put up with continued mediocrity with flashes of brilliance. Gee, can you tell how optimistic I am? [bangs head against wall] Oh right, we’re still in first place. Still in first, still in first…

AP Photos by Ryan Gardner

Friday, September 28, 2007

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – A Taste of Oktober

(Originally posted on LAist on September 28)

Butter schnitzel and spätzle

Ah, the beginning of fall. The leaves changing color onset of football season, cooler temperatures. And Oktoberfest.

Oktoberfest is of course the infamous two-week German festival annually held in Munich, mostly known for the consumption of copious amounts of beer. Last Saturday marked the beginning of the official Oktoberfest. Out here in LA, celebrations are somewhat muted as compared to other American cities, owing to our relative lack of German heritage, but that certainly doesn’t mean that we can’t rock our lederhosen and get our beer stein on. Alpine Village in Torrance and Old World Village in Huntington Beach hold two of the more prominent festivals in the Southland.

I was in a mid-week mood to get in touch with my inner German, and since a trip across the Atlantic was out of the question for me, I went for the next best thing and popped over to Anaheim to hit up Jägerhaus, one of the few authentic German restaurants around.

From the outside, Jägerhaus looks like a total dumpy dive bar, with faulty lighted signs and a forgettable paint job. Similarly, the immediate observation upon walking into the restaurant is, “what is this décor?” Old floral wallpaper with shelves of beer mugs on the walls, green carpets, and wooden tables. Plus, German polka music softly playing in the overhead speakers. I gather the longtime owners Anton and Sandra Schwaiger sought to bring a homey feel to the place, but it was rather disorienting for me.

Fortunately, sitting down and taking a look at the menu chock full of traditional dishes helped bring some familiarity back. Jägerhaus serves ample numbers of breakfast items, featuring classic German-style pancakes and omelettes. However, it’s the completeness of the lunch and dinner menu that is most notable. There are eight types of schnitzel to choose from (including turkey), as well as multiple variations of goulash. Of course sausages are on the menu. More interesting are the different kinds of meat, including lamb shank, grilled deer, roast ham hock, and braised wild boar. Entrees are served with two sides, with a long list of options like traditional sauerkraut and potato salad to creamed spinach and baked beans.

I am partial to schnitzel, but instead of getting a traditionally prepared pan-fried dish, I opted for the Butter Schnitzel, a thinly-sliced cut of veal topped with sautéed mushrooms and onions. And by topped, it’s not just a few sliced mushrooms. It’s literally a mound of mushrooms; if I didn’t know any better, I would have just assumed it was a mushroom dish with a side of meat. True to its name, it was quite buttery. The veal cutlet was cooked really nicely, moist and juicy, and the absence of the breading as would be served in a Wiener Schnitzel reduced some of the heaviness. The flavor of the mushrooms, especially considering the sheer volume, did drown out a lot of the taste of the veal. Whether or not that’s a good thing, I suppose, depends on your flavor preference, it was fine for me.

Potato pancakesThe best part of my meal was the potato pancakes that I got on the side. Accompanied by a small serving of applesauce, the pancakes were amazingly light and fluffy. Rather than a hash-brown style pancake, the potatoes were minced into batter, and it seemed that a greater portion of egg was used than I’ve seen at other places, though the taste and texture of the potato was still evident. I felt that cooking it this way enhanced the use of the applesauce as a topping.

In addition to the potato pancakes, I also got a side order of spätzle. The thick macaroni-like egg noodles were topped with gravy, and I think were the primary cause of my stomach filling up about halfway through the meal (though I plowed through like a champ). And what German meal would be complete without washing it down with a little brewski? Jägerhaus has several bottled German beers, as well as a few on draft – I went with the Hofbräu lager, which is lighter than I would normally drink, but given the denseness of my meal (or the wussiness of my stomach), was actually a perfect complement.

In the movie Office Space (one of the all-time greats), there’s a classic line by Stan the flair-centric manager who tells Jennifer Aniston’s character Joanna, “People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, OK? They come to Chotchkie’s for the atmosphere and the attitude.” And he goes on to rant more about flair. Jägerhaus is like that only completely opposite. People can’t get authentic German food anywhere in LA. So they come to Jägerhaus for a good meal, even though the atmosphere and attitude don’t bring back any such associations with Germany. That’s OK with me; I’ll just put on some Hasselhoff when I get home.

Jägerhaus
2525 Ball Rd.
Anaheim, CA 92806

Friday, September 21, 2007

The Disneyland Dispatch Volume XII

DBSJ is still going strong after twelve years! With another memorable year in the books, we continue to keep the tradition alive. After last year's seminal newspaper, DBSJ Publications continued to raise the bar with a digital scrapbook to capture all of the key moments from this year's event.

What’s Cookin’ Behind the Curtain – Who Let the Dogs Out

(Originally posted on LAist on September 21)

Park Bench Cafe is for the dogs just as much as it is for humans
They say that dogs are a man's best friend. I didn't have a dog growing up, due to my mom's fur allergies, so I never quite understood the sense of passion that dog-owners have for their canine companions. But over the years, after seeing how intensely loyal and loving they are to their dogs, even moreso than people in many cases, I've wondered why there aren't more businesses that cater to dogs and the people that love them.

The Park Bench Cafe
in Huntington Beach is one of the few restaurants that I've been to which completely embraces this dog-friendly mentality. An outdoor cafe located in Huntington Beach's Central Park, Park Bench is a haven for dog-lovers that want a good meal while taking their furry loved ones out for a little recreation. Serving breakfast and lunch, the café can stand alone as a quality eatery, but truly differentiates itself by virtue of its dog-friendly atmosphere.

One of the 'customers' looking sad to not be getting any doggie treatsThe first thing you notice when you see the café is that there are two separate dining areas, a regular dining area on the blacktop and a specific “doggie dining area” (see photo above) on the lawn so that dogs can actually sit down and eat with their owners. What do you mean sit down and eat with their owners? I mean, Park Bench has a separate dog menu that can be ordered off of, like a kid’s menu. Dishes include ‘Rover Easy’ (two scrambled eggs), ‘Hot Diggity Dog’ (sliced all-beef hot dog), and ‘Wrangler Roundup’ (which the menu describes as “lean ground turkey patty for those doggies on a low-fat diet”). There’s even peanut butter churro bites. And the wait staff relishes in getting to pet the dogs and learning a little more about them.

For us humans, especially those of us without dogs, that care about the dining experience, Park Bench Café is also a nice place to have a morning meal. The picturesque park setting surrounded by trees creates the impression of being deep in nature, though the restaurant is just removed from a main drag. And the menu is chock full of comfort food items that you would find at a casual diner, from breakfast foods like omelettes, pancakes, and French toast, to lunch items like burgers, sandwiches, and salads. Most everything on the menu is priced between $7 and $10, or what you’d pay for a meal at Denny’s.

The farm breakfast was a potpourri of ingredients, mostly unhealthy - sweet!I was in a breakfasty mood, but needed a heavier meal, so I went for one of the specials, the behemoth Farm Breakfast. The dish is a mouthful just to describe, let alone eat, but it is essentially a skillet dish that consists of an egg scramble with onions, mushrooms, BACON, and cheddar and jack cheese. It’s served on top of a bed on sliced potatoes (which they term home fries, though they were marginally fried), and for the million-dollar twist, topped with sliced avocado. Although bad Ryan would have preferred hash-brown style potatoes for that extra layer of grease and a better contrast of textures with some additional crunch, good Ryan noted that I was getting all four food groups and several kinds of vegetables.

I generally love skillet dishes, so this one was not spectacularly better than any that I’ve had at other good breakfast places. Still, the addition of the avocadoes definitely enhanced the flavor combination (I mean, BACON, cheese, onions, mushrooms plus avocadoes - seriously, that’s almost always going to be tasty). Despite the respective heaviness of those ingredients, I found the dish was considerably lighter than expected (or maybe I wolfed it down too fast). The eggs were cooked to a medium firmness and the potatoes (skins on) were unseasoned, providing the reliable base starch but not adding any savoriness to the dish. I would have loved some peppers or some seasoned salt to give it more kick, but I’m also the guy that will drown his food in spices so what do I know? All in all, a satisfying start to the day, and I even got to dog-watch as well.

The welcoming digs of Park Bench CafePark Bench Café has been run by a dog-loving husband and wife team, Mike and Christie Bartusick, for the last 19 years. When I was there, they were out casually small-talking with all of the guests, and most enjoyably for them, getting to know all of their canine customers. The restaurant is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays from Fall through late Spring.

I always place a premium on the quality of service and attentiveness that a restaurant provides because I believe it truly does make a difference when food is prepared with love. (There’s that Top Chef mantra again) In the case of Park Bench Café, you’re not just going to get a lovingly-prepared meal for you. You’ll also get deep, genuine love for that other four-legged member of your family that you love just as dearly.

The Park Bench Café
17732 Goldenwest St.
Huntington Beach, CA 9264

Monday, September 17, 2007

Bruin Recap: Karl Dorrell, You are Now on the Budweiser Hot Seat

(Originally posted on LAist on September 17)
(Featured on Between the 20s, Bruins Nation, Coaches Hot Seat, and Defamer on September 17)

Karl Dorrell looking befuddled as alwaysPathetic. Pitiful. Putrid.

There are not enough adjectives that start with the letter ‘P’, or any other letter for that matter, that can adequately describe how bad UCLA’s 44-6 abomination of a performance was on Saturday against Utah.

In the forgettable tenure of Karl Dorrell’s coaching career at UCLA, the Bruins have had numerous embarrassing efforts. But I think this one was the worst of all. Because this one really can’t be reasonably explained nor justified. Because this one completely submarines all hopes that fans had on this year being the year. Because after this one, there’s really no reason to believe that it’s not going to happen again and again.

It’s understood that all teams will have off days sometimes. After all, these are 18- to 22-year old kids (well, except for 24-year old “star” QB Ben Olson). But good teams do not have off days in which they lose by 38 points to a winless team that was missing its starting quarterback, starting running back, and starting #1 wideout. Good teams do not allow themselves to be physically dominated on both sides of the ball without a competitive response. Good teams do not fail to show up for 60 minutes. And the Bruins, no matter what the ranking or win-loss record said over the last five seasons, have never been a good team under Dorrell.

This wasn’t the case of being beaten by a more talented and physically gifted team like USC. This was the case of being underprepared, outcoached, and outexecuted in comparison to a Utah squad that did not match up on paper, but was ready to play 60 minutes of ball. Apparently, the Bruins weren’t ready to put forth anything resembling a best effort. Or any kind of effort for that matter.

Ben Olson turning the ball over for the sixty-seventh timeThe number of mistakes committed by the Bruins was staggering. Five turnovers, including some unbelievably bad interceptions by Olson that Pop Warner QBs wouldn’t even throw, led directly to 24 Utah points. Marcus Everett making the biggest offensive play of the game on a fly pattern down the sideline, then fumbling the ball through the end zone for a touchback when trying to stretch for the pylon, costing the Bruins their only scoring opportunity all afternoon. Four first quarter procedure or delay of game penalties that stymied the offense. Repeated breakdowns in the secondary allowing Utah receivers to literally walk into the end zone.

This just in, Utah has scored another touchdownI would give a more thorough game recap, but it’s pretty simple. The Bruins sucked in every facet of the game. Except the kicking game – Kai Forbath, game ball! A 45-yard field goal and a 51-yard field goal means that hey, maybe we won’t miss Justin Medlock, recently cut by the Kansas City Chiefs. From the opening series in which Alterraun Verner got torched for a 55 yard touchdown, UCLA looked completely befuddled on both sides of the ball. The offensive line didn’t block, leading to a non-existent running game. The receivers didn’t get open, and when they did, Olson fired balls at their feet or over their heads. The defensive line not only didn’t pressure the quarterback but didn’t even stuff the run this week. The linebackers were totally ineffective, overpursuing and missing tackles. The secondary, in particular everyone not named Trey Brown, kept missing their coverage assignments. Even punter Aaron Perez refused to kick anything with more than about two seconds of hang time or longer than 30 yards. The coaching “adjustments” that were going to be made at halftime to overturn a 14-6 deficit? Try getting outscored 30-0 in the second half. And to add insult to injury (or is it injury to insult), the team’s top two linemen, Bruce Davis and Shannon Tevaga, both got hurt in the fourth quarter. Start to finish, atrocious in every conceivable way.

Saying the Bruins sucked isn’t even a harsh enough description. On a scale of 1 to 10 of suckiness, it was something like a 5,000. I’m not even sure UCLA could have even beaten Notre Dame on Saturday, and if you’ve been following the walking disaster known as the Fighting Irish, you’ll know how pathetic that is.

Ben Olson getting sacked yet againOrdinarily, I think it’s foolish to pull a Chicken Little and react so strongly to just one game. Unfortunately, this demoralizing scene from Salt Lake City has become too commonplace to just dismiss it as a fluke. Instead, it confirms the fear that this coaching staff simply doesn’t have what it takes to get the UCLA football program back to elite status. I said last year that Dorrell was running out of chances. He’s out of chances now. It’s certainly within the realm of possibility for the Bruins to rebound from this debacle and have a really good season. But I seriously doubt that anyone who watches the team closely realistically holds on to that belief. More likely it will be just another five-loss season, and hopefully the last with this head coach. Nothing personal Karl, I would really like for you to succeed, but unfortunately we can’t wait forever for you to figure it out. Not that you ever would anyway.

DeWayne Walker and the rest of the coaching staff doesn't have a clueBefore the season started, I had been joking about the state of the football program with one of my friends over IM. We were taking our shots at Dorrell while quietly holding out optimism for a good season. My friend made the ultimate insult of comparing Dorrell to loathed Bruin basketball coaching flameout Steve Lavin. While I don’t think that’s an entirely fair comparison, given how greasy and undedicated to the job Lavin was, the results have been eerily similar. Both guys had numerous embarrassing, unprecedented losses, led their teams to generally perform below expectations every year, yet somehow to did just enough to keep their jobs by surprisingly winning a couple of high profile games and having some cosmetic success (in Lavin’s case, his run of Sweet 16 appearances; in Dorrell’s case, the 2005 season and the USC win last year). But while they were allowed to keep their jobs, the programs that they ran were slowly getting run into the ground. And without a drastic move, the football program will continue to flounder.

If I sound pissed, it’s because I am indeed FURIOUS. Sure, football is just a game. And these are just kids. There are many greater injustices in the world happening every day where this ire should be directed. I agree. But it is a personal affront to me and every other person who has invested time, money, and energy into the wonderful institution known as UCLA to have to be associated with such crap. It is insulting to watch people wear the Bruin name and not be prepared and focused, week in and week out. We don’t expect to win every game. We do expect that our players will be put in the best possible position to succeed in football and in life, and carry forth the appropriate amount of effort to make that success a reality.

Last week, I went to an alumni event honoring incoming undergrad scholarship recipients in which legendary softball coach Sue Enquist, part of eleven national champion teams as a player and coach, was the keynote speaker. She exhorted the new students to work to become champions in whatever field they were going into because that’s what it means to be a Bruin. At UCLA, we build champions.

If there’s one thing to be taken away from Utah 44 UCLA 6, it’s that as long as Karl Dorrell is running the show, there will be no champions built on the gridiron. Not just in terms of wins and losses, but in the way the game is approached, the way the game is played. No, Karl wasn’t the one that made all of those mistakes on Saturday. But the disgraceful performance was a direct reflection of the leadership from the top. Or lack thereof.

Anyone know if Ben Howland has a younger brother that coaches football?

AP photos by Douglas C. Pizac and Steve C. Wilson